- Edmund Burke
Law Like Love
W. H. Auden
Law, say the gardeners, is the sun,
Law is the one
All gardeners obey
To-morrow, yesterday, to-day.
Law is the wisdom of the old,
The impotent grandfathers feebly scold;
The grandchildren put out a treble tongue,
Law is the senses of the young.
Law, says the priest with a priestly look,
Expounding to an unpriestly people,
Law is the words in my priestly book,
Law is my pulpit and my steeple.
Law, says the judge as he looks down his nose,
Speaking clearly and most severely,
Law is as I've told you before,
Law is as you know I suppose,
Law is but let me explain it once more,
Law is The Law.
Yet law-abiding scholars write:
Law is neither wrong nor right,
Law is only crimes
Punished by places and by times,
Law is the clothes men wear
Anytime, anywhere,
Law is Good morning and Good night.
Others say, Law is our Fate;
Others say, Law is our State;
Others say, others say
Law is no more,
Law has gone away.
And always the loud angry crowd,
Very angry and very loud,
Law is We,
And always the soft idiot softly Me.
If we, dear, know we know no more
Than they about the Law,
If I no more than you
Know what we should and should not do
Except that all agree
Gladly or miserably
That the Law is
And that all know this
If therefore thinking it absurd
To identify Law with some other word,
Unlike so many men
I cannot say Law is again,
No more than they can we suppress
The universal wish to guess
Or slip out of our own position
Into an unconcerned condition.
Although I can at least confine
Your vanity and mine
To stating timidly
A timid similarity,
We shall boast anyway:
Like love I say.
Like love we don't know where or why,
Like love we can't compel or fly,
Like love we often weep,
Like love we seldom keep.
Top Five "Law" Songs:
5. "I Fought the Law" by Bobby Fuller Five (and the Clash)
4. "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash
3. "State Trooper" and "Highway Patrolman" by Bruce Springsteen
2. "I Shot the Sheriff" by Bob Marley (and Clapton)
1. "Breaking the Law" by Judas Priest
Highly obscure bonus: "The Saw is the Law" by Sodom
[Ohhhh, I know there are more. Send 'em in! They don't have to have "law" in the title, either. - E]
"He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an inexorable, indisputable law." - Pablo Picasso
E-Verse Radio Unbelievable But Real Film Titles of the Week:
The Wrong Arm of the Law (1963)
Dan Candy's Law (Alien Thunder) (1974)
Law and Disorder (1974)
Snake Eater III: His Law (1992)
Nude Law Enforcement (1993)
There Auto Be a Law (1953)
E-Verse Radio Strange and Annoying Laws of the Week:
It's against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas.
In Athens, Greece, a driver's license can be revoked if the driver is deemed either "poorly dressed" or "unbathed."
In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant.
In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.
In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
In St. Louis, it is illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
It is illegal to sell an ET doll in France. They have a law forbidding the sale of dolls that do not have human faces.
In parts of Pennsylvania, the Farmer's Anti-Automobile society once set up some "rules of the road." In effect, they said:
1. "Automobiles travelling on country roads at night must send up a rocket every mile, then wait ten minutes for the road to clear."
2. "If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blend into the scenery."
3. "In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes."
[Know some others? Send 'em in. - E]
"Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced." - Albert Einstein
Top Five Worst Video Game-Based Movies:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20481736/
[There must be a law in there somewhere . . . - E]
E-Verse News You Can Use from the Un-E-Versity of Life:
"Fashion: shallow, bourgeois, girly, elitist, unfeminist, conformist, and frivolous. But it attracts money, talent, beauty, and enterprise"
"Without books, without news and reviews of books -- that is, without serious literacy -- decent society vanishes and barbarism triumphs"
"The French once ridiculed smoking bans as typical Yankee puritanism. They viewed their packs of Gauloises as sacred . . ."
"India's 200 million-strong middle class is the most economically dynamic group on the planet. It is largely indifferent to social reform"
"Matt Drudge craves attention but hides, is prurient and prudish, an icon of the right who seems obsessed with making Hillary president"
"America was a hotbed of literary piracy in the 19th century. It turned out poisoned foods and willfully mislabeled products. Rather like China today"
"Imagine a world in which all food is organic and local, air is free of industrial pollution, and physical exercise guaranteed. Sound idyllic?"
"'What is Painting?' is a bad question to pose as a grand problem of theory. The art itself is about its own endless little internal problems . . ."
An E-Verser Sends in a List of "How Old They Would Be If They Had Lived":
Elvis Presley (72)
Jim Morrison (63)
Jimi Hendrix (64)
Janis Joplin (64)
Richie Valens (66)
Buddy Holly (70)
John Lennon (66)
Bob Marley (61)
Bruce Lee (66)
Pres. John F. Kennedy (89)
Sen. Robert Kennedy (81)
Marilyn Monroe (80)
Martin Luther King, Jr. (78)
Peter Sellers (81)
James Dean (75)
John Belushi (58)
Andy Kaufman (58)
Sid Vicious (49)
Cliff Burton, former Metallica bassist (44)
Randy Rhoads, Ozzy's former guitarist (50)
We know rock stars die young. Here's a breakdown of just how they die (note electrocution!)
- av611
- CNN
Fleming's Follies:
Traffic Cop breaking the law:
The story behind this can be found here.
Dave Chapelle -- We Know the Law
Livin' 'Neath the Law - Jack McBrayer
I want my $20
Police Chase Compilation
Bonus
Police Chase -- impressive driving
E-Verse Radio Bad Book Cover of the Week,
The Mind Masters, by John F. Rossmann:
"Law, without force, is impotent." - Blaise Pascal
Listen to this episode at: www.everseradio.com/audio
E-Verse tip of the week, the differences between Eminent, Imminent, and Immanent:
"Eminent" means distinguished or, in some cases, obvious or pronounced. One would usually use it to refer to a celebrated or illustrious figure, as in "the eminent poet managed to piss himself and pass out in the corridor of the hotel after the reading."
"Imminent" indicates something that is anticipated or about to happen, as in imminent doom, imminent rainstorm, or imminent cliché in a bad poem.
Finally, the rarest of the lot, and one usually only used by students and scholars, is "immanent," a specialist term that is used to discuss something that is pervasive or inherent in a religious or philosophical sense, as in Edmund Husserl's beloved passage: "Immanent and transcendent experience are nevertheless connected in a remarkable way: by a change in attitude, we can pass from the one to the other." Crochet that onto a doily.
"This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
E-Verse Radio town you really have to visit:
Tow Law, near Consett, County Durham.
E-Verse Recommendation:
Paul F. Tompkins is my favorite stand-up comedian. He used to host Friday night broadcasts from Caroline's Comedy Club, and some of you might know him from HBO's Mr. Show and VH1's Best Week Ever. Here is a list of the remaining dates on his North American tour. Trust me, he'll make you laugh. If you get out to one of these shows, tell him Ernie Hilbert sent you. He and I worked together in a bookstore on South Street in Philadelphia (so long ago, there were actually bookstores on South Street).
Check him out on Comedy Central:
View his upcoming tour dates on his MySpace page.
E-Verse Radio collective noun of the week:
Hilbertian Sonnet of the Week:
Improprieties
Ernest Hilbert
My friend is a fugitive from the law.
For fifteen years he's been on the "run."
What to do? Let's get this cold keg started.
We'll deal with it tomorrow. The one flaw
In the system is just how little fun
It is once it's got you boxed and carded.
Youthful transgressions fester. We still move
Against the commonwealth, however small
Our motions may be. Some guys really do
Get away with murder. Try to improve
On that. Just read the papers. We all fall
From time to time, and will until we're through.
You can only laugh. You will never win,
But, still, it's pointless to turn yourself in.
"A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers." - H. L. Mencken
Reports from the E-Verse Universe
A reader writes in to help an Irish reader traveling in the US:
"Must see for the greenhorns. O'Keefe's Bar in San Francisco (598 5th Avenue & Balboa), for a true Irish-American experience, whatever that is. Smoke-filled and neighborhood intimate, this is not your mother's Irish tourist bar. Off the beaten track, AND some, check out the jukebox, have yourself a bottle of Pacifico (no draft beer here mate), and enjoy the pictures on the wall of Bobby Kennedy and Gavin Newsom. Do this, and also make sure to go to a Giants game during your stay if at all possible, Arizmendi Bakery (Worker-owned!) in the Sunset, the Castro Theater to see the wonderful movies and organist who opens each evening performance, Cafe Trieste in North Beach (speaking of great jukeboxes), and call it a proper San Francisco adventure."
A reader writes in on last episode's town to visit:
"Having noticed your recommendation to visit Middlefart in Denmark, I recommend your readers go instead to Sexbierum, in the Netherlands."
A long-time E-Verser talked with Leonard Cohen backstage at Joe's Pub in New York recently and wrote in about it:
"I saw Leonard in NY at Joe's Pub on Lafayette St. last April. I was able to go back stage for a little bit -- the only thing I really wanted to ask him was if it's true that the only music he has in his house is that of Tom Waits and his son, Adam. (What was I going to say? 'What is the REAL meaning of Famous Blue Raincoat?' He was a little bit taken by surprise, I think -- he'd had a few quite large margaritas by that time. He laughed and said . . . 'Pretty much.' Well, it was quite a nice evening."
Next week's episode: Circus! Three ring circuses, media circuses, all kinds of circuses, so step right up!
E-Verse Radio fought the law, and, as usual, the law won. It is a regular weekly column of literary, publishing, and arts information and opinion that has gone out since 1999. It is brought to you by ERNEST HILBERT and currently enjoys over 1,500 readers. If you wish to submit lists or other comments, please use the same capitalization, punctuation, and grammar you would for anything else intended for publication. Please send top five lists, bad movie titles, limericks, facts, comments, and new readers along whenever you like; simply click reply and I'll get back to you.
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